


I Am Crying

by snowflight



Category: Shugo Chara!
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crying, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28301814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowflight/pseuds/snowflight
Summary: The memories of herself when she was just like this—small and lonely and helpless—were rushing back. Her voice was on the edge of shaking and her eyes were already tearing up, but she took a deep breath. She had to control her emotions. She had to remain calm. Especially when Nagihiko—the sensible, composed Nagihiko—was the one who needed help this time. //oneshot
Relationships: Fujisaki Nagihiko & Mashiro Rima, Fujisaki Nagihiko/Mashiro Rima
Kudos: 2





	I Am Crying

**Author's Note:**

> [Chinese translation](http://yuzukiyui.lofter.com/post/20223259_1c69b4653) by [thenforestlight](https://thenforestlight.lofter.com/).
> 
> * * *
> 
> This scene is based off of a story idea I had a longgg time ago, where Nagihiko injures his ankle and things go downhill from there. This is just a fun little scene I wanted to write, thinking about that.
> 
> (Also, I'll list more of its details in the end note for anybody interested--I never fully did write out my thoughts for this story, so might as well use the opportunity now!)

“I’m fine,” he said quietly. Shakily.

Rima glared at him. “No, you’re not.”

Nagihiko scowled, but she could tell that he was really just hiding his wince. Rima stared at him, eyes narrowed—challenging.  _ Stop lying to me.  _ He held her gaze like he normally would, but this time, broke contact just seconds later.

“Okay, you win.” Nagihiko sighed. “I’m not fine, okay?” His voice ended with a soft growl. “But it doesn’t matter. I’ll get over this.”

“No, you won’t. Not like this,” Rima snapped. She felt a strange, cold type of anger rush into her voice. “Stop thinking so highly of yourself. You think you can get over this by  _ pretending  _ to be fine? By ignoring every single one of your problems and projecting the appearance that you’re  _ perfectly fine  _ and nobody should be concerned?”

Rima paused. The memories of herself when she was just like this—small and lonely and helpless—were rushing back. Her voice was on the edge of shaking and her eyes were already tearing up, but she took a deep breath. She had to control her emotions. She had to remain calm. Especially when Nagihiko—the sensible, composed Nagihiko—was the one who needed help this time.

“Look.” Rima willed her voice to remain steady. “That’s how you  _ don’t  _ get over it. That’s how you make yourself feel worse, because every time you  _ pretend  _ to be fine, you envy your own fake image. It’ll continue until you hate everyone around you for not noticing anything. And until you hate  _ yourself  _ for not  _ doing  _ anything about it and betraying your real feelings. It’s unhealthy.”

“I know.” Nagihiko looked down, but his expression was softening. Or breaking...? “But I can’t do anything else. Not when... everything’s the way it is right now.”

Rima hesitated, her heart twisting. Seeing Nagihiko—of all people—look so defeated and helpless was distressing, for sure. “I know that... it’s hard.” Her voice became soft with compassion.

But mainly, seeing someone else look so weak and broken, yet trying so hard to remain strong, was what made her want to hug him and cry. She knew how it felt. No doubt that everything she was saying, he  _ knew  _ already. 

She should’ve listened to him, comforted him, understood him—instead of criticizing his decisions. “I’m sorry.”

Before she knew it, her vision was blurred and tears were sliding down her cheek.

Nagihiko stared at her. “Rima?” Then he smiled. It was small—hesitant _ — _ like he wasn’t sure if it was safe to smile yet. “Rima, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Rima furiously rubbed at her tears. She hadn’t expected to end up crying like this, but it was hard not to. She understood him too well. “I’m not even the one who’s supposed to be crying right now.”

Nagihiko looked at her, still smiling. “Do you want me to cry?”

_ “Yes.”  _ Rima took a deep breath to control her emotions. But her tears kept on falling. 

Rima had always been good at acting and faking emotions. She could control her tears—she was able to fake-cry, to put it bluntly—and it was something she thought she’d always be able to maintain command over.

But now, for the first time, it was like something inside of her  _ broke  _ and she just couldn’t stop crying. Maybe it was all the emotions she’d let build up inside of herself over the years, flooding out after the dam finally couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Nagihiko pulled her into a hug.

The warmness that rushed into Rima was overwhelming. She’d always thought that on the one day when her emotions overflowed inside of her and she couldn’t hold them back anymore, she’d be alone. Alone, like she’d always been whenever she cried. Cold and alone.

Not warm and embraced by somebody else.

She cried into his chest, clutching his shirt. He tightened his hold on her.

“Stop it...” Rima was angry at herself.  _ She  _ was supposed to be the one comforting him while he cried, not the other way around. “I’m not supposed to be crying.  _ You’re _ supposed to be crying.” 

Nagihiko didn’t respond.

“Nagihiko?” Rima tried to push away from his embrace to look at his face, but he didn’t let go. Nagihiko silently lowered his face so that it was hovering over Rima’s shoulder, and that was when she realized that he was shaking. Tears fell on her shoulder.

“Rima.” His voice was soft. “I  _ am  _ crying.”

**Author's Note:**

> All right! So for the actual full story, eventually I found it too difficult to plot and I dropped it, but below were the details I had in mind (warning, it's kind of long):
> 
> Basically in the story, Nagihiko's recently finally able to fully return to dancing. He actually has his first public reappearance and performance as Nadeshiko planned, and it's set for a few weeks into when this story takes place. But he's also on the basketball team, and during one of his games, he ends up injuring his ankle.
> 
> The injury causes him to have to cancel his Nadeshiko performance, which disappoints his mom, who blames it on his passion for basketball and neglecting his dancing responsibilities/not taking them seriously. And then it _also_ forces him to finally reveal to Amu his secret, since Amu was looking forward to seeing Nadeshiko perform. And after he gets injured and cancels the performance, he pretty much has no other explanation to offer, since "Nadeshiko" literally having the same injury as him is like... a dead giveaway.
> 
> SO yeah, things kinda suck, and Nagihiko's left feeling bad and guilty over everything--but he also feels like that it _is_ his fault for letting himself live his non-Nadeshiko/non-dancing life so carefreely and also from not telling Amu his secret until now, so he tries to deal with it by just... forcing himself to accept it all and be fine with it, while not tell anyone how he's actually feeling about it. 
> 
> Now CUE OUR GIRL RIMA who can see through him since: 1) acting? you probably can't beat her, and 2) she honestly probably has experience with bottling up feelings and emotionally isolating herself to deal with things, especially considering the circumstances she's grown up with _(cough cough constantly bitter, fighting, oppressive parents)._
> 
> And now an... un-plotted period of drama, angst, denial, concern, and confrontations ensue--until Nagihiko finally learns to be honest about his feelings and think about himself while Rima realizes that they understand each other more than she initially thought. Then somewhere in there is a revelation that maybe they both mean more to each other than either of them realized!!
> 
> Okay yep that would be all I had in mind. I really struggle with long plots so I'm doubtful that this story will ever be written, but it was nice to get down these ideas. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed <3


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